It seems like separation, break-ups', and divorce are fashionable; just to prove one has "been there and done that". Don't people see that such an easy way out or such a 'game' or a dry run is never a sign of maturity or high mentality, unless inevitable (ie. abuse, infidelity, unreasonable behaviour; etc). I know many friends who come from broken families; some grow up dysfunctional, some develop characters we all envy, some are totally blinded by the gender of the parent who left.
Most of the older generation, even the match-made ones stay together through life. Separation, nor divorce or any of that sort ever crossed their minds. It was clear and simple to them; it's together forever.
Unfortunately, for our generation, break-ups, separation and divorce is taken as lightly like a simple purchase; much done without thorough thinking. Pure signs of immaturity and low mentality.
So, whenever this separation happens, what's next? Two people are involved, more often than not, one is the initiator while the other is forced to follow suit. The initiator might have initiated this separation for the betterment of the other; or because he/she is sick and tired of having laksa everyday. (If you choose to have laksa forever, jolly-well do so!)
Both my siblings had their fair share of such. The eldest was in a 5-year relationship and when prompted by the girl towards marriage, he was more than willing and got her a ring ready to propose. And when he did, her only response was that she wanted to marry, but not to him. Quite a joke huh, but imagine the process of letting go. He was in a wreck for the longest time, 2 years approximately before picking himself up to date again, but he was now determined not to be the submissive one. Eventually he did let go, but it was never easy and till today, he has kept the ring he used to propose and failed; because she will always occupy a space in his mind no doubt he's happily married to a lovely sis-in-law with a beautiful baby.
The second sibling was dating a girl from tertiary school days till one went on to work, the other went to venture into business. For 6 years, one was busy working, the other was even busier starting up his business. They were in love and everyone loved the fact that they were together. However, eventually he ended the relationship because he saw that he was a hindrance to her explorable life. He did regret after initiating the break-up, but tried not to look back because he understood the exact repercussions and that she deserved someone who could grant her the time and company she needed. Both found it hard to let go, very hard, and till today, they still present birthday and Christmas gifts to each other, and it is not emotional infidelity, but as a recognition that both respected that the relationship came to a valid ending.
Breaking-up is so hard to do, letting go can even seem impossible at some point. Sometimes people get over it much easier than the other, some take years to let go. Usually the initiator takes a grand total of 3 minutes after the initiation to let go, especially those who had absolutely no love in the first place. What I cannot understand is; why get in a relationship at all? Just to prove that you've been there, done that? To have a hand to hold? Because it's sickening to see all your friends happily attached? Or because of that biological clock that's ticking so loud? Fine if some are that childish, and immature. But at least spare the poor soul you're about to hurt, because some do not expect agendas and simply take it for real.
I see the difference between a marriage and a dating relationship because a marriage involves much more than just a simple break-up. And even with the seriousness of a marriage, some still take it lightly like it's seasonal or the flavour of the month. Read the books from the relationship gurus'. Never have I once seen a chapter that didn't involve arguing or quarrelling simply because these small arguments and quarrels are the small pictures, and solving these will gather to make a beautiful big picture.
I only hope people will somehow realise we're not in some Mario game with 3 lives. When something fails in my life, it is carved as deep as it hurts, people around me hurt and unsure of what to do, and realistically speaking, time is my enemy and wasting it wasn't exactly what I intended to do.
Most of the older generation, even the match-made ones stay together through life. Separation, nor divorce or any of that sort ever crossed their minds. It was clear and simple to them; it's together forever.
Unfortunately, for our generation, break-ups, separation and divorce is taken as lightly like a simple purchase; much done without thorough thinking. Pure signs of immaturity and low mentality.
So, whenever this separation happens, what's next? Two people are involved, more often than not, one is the initiator while the other is forced to follow suit. The initiator might have initiated this separation for the betterment of the other; or because he/she is sick and tired of having laksa everyday. (If you choose to have laksa forever, jolly-well do so!)
Both my siblings had their fair share of such. The eldest was in a 5-year relationship and when prompted by the girl towards marriage, he was more than willing and got her a ring ready to propose. And when he did, her only response was that she wanted to marry, but not to him. Quite a joke huh, but imagine the process of letting go. He was in a wreck for the longest time, 2 years approximately before picking himself up to date again, but he was now determined not to be the submissive one. Eventually he did let go, but it was never easy and till today, he has kept the ring he used to propose and failed; because she will always occupy a space in his mind no doubt he's happily married to a lovely sis-in-law with a beautiful baby.
The second sibling was dating a girl from tertiary school days till one went on to work, the other went to venture into business. For 6 years, one was busy working, the other was even busier starting up his business. They were in love and everyone loved the fact that they were together. However, eventually he ended the relationship because he saw that he was a hindrance to her explorable life. He did regret after initiating the break-up, but tried not to look back because he understood the exact repercussions and that she deserved someone who could grant her the time and company she needed. Both found it hard to let go, very hard, and till today, they still present birthday and Christmas gifts to each other, and it is not emotional infidelity, but as a recognition that both respected that the relationship came to a valid ending.
Breaking-up is so hard to do, letting go can even seem impossible at some point. Sometimes people get over it much easier than the other, some take years to let go. Usually the initiator takes a grand total of 3 minutes after the initiation to let go, especially those who had absolutely no love in the first place. What I cannot understand is; why get in a relationship at all? Just to prove that you've been there, done that? To have a hand to hold? Because it's sickening to see all your friends happily attached? Or because of that biological clock that's ticking so loud? Fine if some are that childish, and immature. But at least spare the poor soul you're about to hurt, because some do not expect agendas and simply take it for real.
I see the difference between a marriage and a dating relationship because a marriage involves much more than just a simple break-up. And even with the seriousness of a marriage, some still take it lightly like it's seasonal or the flavour of the month. Read the books from the relationship gurus'. Never have I once seen a chapter that didn't involve arguing or quarrelling simply because these small arguments and quarrels are the small pictures, and solving these will gather to make a beautiful big picture.
I only hope people will somehow realise we're not in some Mario game with 3 lives. When something fails in my life, it is carved as deep as it hurts, people around me hurt and unsure of what to do, and realistically speaking, time is my enemy and wasting it wasn't exactly what I intended to do.
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