Love, as it is, is such a complicated word which is never a fairy tale with candy floss and hearty balloons. How many are blessed enough to be with the one we truly love and truly loves us and should I add... till death? There isn't really an answer to such a question except that it does happen. How many times have we heard of 40th, 50th till 70th wedding anniversaries? Love isn't all about feeling good about the other party, but also becoming a better person, having favour with the person and showing favour. Many tend to expect their better half to change or even to attempt to change them to better suit them; only to end up all disappointed that all efforts are futile. Changes just to suit the other is short-lived and usually forced.
Some people do change to please the other party, and such changes are short-lived and often end up disappointing. Naturally as a person in love changes for the better, isn't usually with a concious effort. In fact, this non-deliberate, and effortless change occurs because of this unexplainable natural transition brought upon by something so powerful.... unconditional, true love.
When love hits one, we feel it's The One, or well,....Mr/Ms Right. How often have people misconstrued Mr/Ms Right NOW, or Mr/Ms YAH-Right or Mr/Ms ALWAYS RIGHT, as Mr/Ms Right. Is there such a theory to support such an actuality as Mr/Ms Right? Some people take it as a gospel-truth. And so if hypothetically, a young couple loses one party to sickness, or untimely death, our poor surviving supposed Mr/Ms Right, is to remain single and alone for the rest of his life? Won't this survivor have the RIGHT to find anyone else? Isn't the vow 'till death do us part'? It surely doesn't say 'till both our deaths do us part'. So truly, there is not one particular appointed 'someone' for each of us.
Let's just say every couple face problems, arguments, fights and quarrels. When there is an exception of a couple who has never quarrelled, argued or disagreed, something must be amiss. I speak with full-confidence here. Problems, arguments, fights and quarrels are the only route to a successful and long lasting marriage. Nobody is born to fit anybody's exact expectation and hence quarrels, disagreements inevitable. Sure, one may keep mum, but how long can they withstand and deny that no disagreements ever exist? The very purpose of these disagreements are to lead to couples compromising and ironing out these issues to make living together and understanding each other possible.
One party cannot possibly be giving all the time and the other to only take. There is a limit as to how much one can give, and the other party who takes will take; and even start to take things for granted. Truth be told; every marriage counsellor would tell you, every couple fights. Even the most loving couples do. Fights and arguments are inevitable to build a relationship and strengthen the bond between the two.
Dogs fight, till one gives in, and learns to be submissive. Siblings fight, simply because no two people are of the same character; even twins. Best friends fight, to understand each others' way of being great pals to each other. Parents and children too, they fight to get their points across. Even colleagues will fight if being civil isn't a human expectation. Hence all that back stabbing, gossiping, and ganging up against each other. Even more, how inevitable is a fight in any relationship, that person we live with, share our darkest secrets and intimate moments? It is never ever possible, unless pretence is the main make-up of the relationship or we are discussing strangers here. Ask any couple, those who have NO arguments at all, have either got a very giving spouse, or one boiling partner, throwing all problems and unhappiness elsewhere, or both parties are always willing to give in to the others' ideals; or both have absolutely no opinions whatsoever.
I'm not a philosopher or neither of that sort, far from it. In fact, a marriage counsellor has brutally admitted that men and women are indeed from very different places. The only understanding that can bring both together is that understanding that they were always made to belong to each other; whether there is a fight, an argument, but they exist together to complement what the other lacks and enhance what the other has. That is such a comforting thought, except the sad fact is that how many can actually find one to fit that criteria, and complement the other, correct or even accept the flaws and enhance the good?
I've recently celebrated my parents' 35th wedding anniversary. What bliss... and I am so so proud of them. Way to go folks!
Some people do change to please the other party, and such changes are short-lived and often end up disappointing. Naturally as a person in love changes for the better, isn't usually with a concious effort. In fact, this non-deliberate, and effortless change occurs because of this unexplainable natural transition brought upon by something so powerful.... unconditional, true love.
When love hits one, we feel it's The One, or well,....Mr/Ms Right. How often have people misconstrued Mr/Ms Right NOW, or Mr/Ms YAH-Right or Mr/Ms ALWAYS RIGHT, as Mr/Ms Right. Is there such a theory to support such an actuality as Mr/Ms Right? Some people take it as a gospel-truth. And so if hypothetically, a young couple loses one party to sickness, or untimely death, our poor surviving supposed Mr/Ms Right, is to remain single and alone for the rest of his life? Won't this survivor have the RIGHT to find anyone else? Isn't the vow 'till death do us part'? It surely doesn't say 'till both our deaths do us part'. So truly, there is not one particular appointed 'someone' for each of us.
Let's just say every couple face problems, arguments, fights and quarrels. When there is an exception of a couple who has never quarrelled, argued or disagreed, something must be amiss. I speak with full-confidence here. Problems, arguments, fights and quarrels are the only route to a successful and long lasting marriage. Nobody is born to fit anybody's exact expectation and hence quarrels, disagreements inevitable. Sure, one may keep mum, but how long can they withstand and deny that no disagreements ever exist? The very purpose of these disagreements are to lead to couples compromising and ironing out these issues to make living together and understanding each other possible.
One party cannot possibly be giving all the time and the other to only take. There is a limit as to how much one can give, and the other party who takes will take; and even start to take things for granted. Truth be told; every marriage counsellor would tell you, every couple fights. Even the most loving couples do. Fights and arguments are inevitable to build a relationship and strengthen the bond between the two.
Dogs fight, till one gives in, and learns to be submissive. Siblings fight, simply because no two people are of the same character; even twins. Best friends fight, to understand each others' way of being great pals to each other. Parents and children too, they fight to get their points across. Even colleagues will fight if being civil isn't a human expectation. Hence all that back stabbing, gossiping, and ganging up against each other. Even more, how inevitable is a fight in any relationship, that person we live with, share our darkest secrets and intimate moments? It is never ever possible, unless pretence is the main make-up of the relationship or we are discussing strangers here. Ask any couple, those who have NO arguments at all, have either got a very giving spouse, or one boiling partner, throwing all problems and unhappiness elsewhere, or both parties are always willing to give in to the others' ideals; or both have absolutely no opinions whatsoever.
I'm not a philosopher or neither of that sort, far from it. In fact, a marriage counsellor has brutally admitted that men and women are indeed from very different places. The only understanding that can bring both together is that understanding that they were always made to belong to each other; whether there is a fight, an argument, but they exist together to complement what the other lacks and enhance what the other has. That is such a comforting thought, except the sad fact is that how many can actually find one to fit that criteria, and complement the other, correct or even accept the flaws and enhance the good?
I've recently celebrated my parents' 35th wedding anniversary. What bliss... and I am so so proud of them. Way to go folks!
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