A girlfriend spoke to me online... sorry... confronted me online regarding an alleged "bitching". I didn't exactly understand how much fault I had, or was I just being maligned because of some shit-stirrer. Well, anyhow, I can finally see what my husband means when one is so adamant to a level of irritance of insisting on being right and forcing me to admit fault and even though I knew I had to apologise a-n-y-w-a-y, so I did, twice. After obviously being ignored and kept being attacked with the "YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND! Would you like it if I did ........... to you!??" I felt pretty darn insulted. I said "Fine. I already apologised twice, seems like you are victimising yourself and blowing everything out of great proportion.." And as anybody would expect, next comes "NO YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND!"
My mind drifted away. During this time I could only hear in my mind an annoying little voice, which I identified as mine, and the other irritated party as my hubby's. I now know how annoying it is not to be able to let stupid little things go, as if it was going to kill me or cause me destruction or perhaps even 5 years later when I look back, it still is such a minor and meaningless issue.
"Agree to disagree". This statement was attempted to be drilled into my mind but I hardly thought about it, till recently, and realised the significance of this statement. This gives reason to be truly irritated and very annoyed, however, still not enough for a divorce. Besides, I do not do things to such extents and not able to ever admit defeat or accept fault.
She does remind me a little of myself when I argue with my hubby, but I know for a true fact I have probably about half of the aggression and nonsense degree of this girlfriend. Even I would not be able to live with such a person for too long. Someone who presses and pushes standards down my throat.
Now, all I want from my hubby is to forgive me, come back to me after such a long silence and I really have learnt and I want to change; not only for him but to make me a better person. Lao Gong, if you are reading this, I want you to know I know how much relief you got from leaving me, more so, I want you to know I am going to change, not for you but for us...
My mind drifted away. During this time I could only hear in my mind an annoying little voice, which I identified as mine, and the other irritated party as my hubby's. I now know how annoying it is not to be able to let stupid little things go, as if it was going to kill me or cause me destruction or perhaps even 5 years later when I look back, it still is such a minor and meaningless issue.
"Agree to disagree". This statement was attempted to be drilled into my mind but I hardly thought about it, till recently, and realised the significance of this statement. This gives reason to be truly irritated and very annoyed, however, still not enough for a divorce. Besides, I do not do things to such extents and not able to ever admit defeat or accept fault.
She does remind me a little of myself when I argue with my hubby, but I know for a true fact I have probably about half of the aggression and nonsense degree of this girlfriend. Even I would not be able to live with such a person for too long. Someone who presses and pushes standards down my throat.
Now, all I want from my hubby is to forgive me, come back to me after such a long silence and I really have learnt and I want to change; not only for him but to make me a better person. Lao Gong, if you are reading this, I want you to know I know how much relief you got from leaving me, more so, I want you to know I am going to change, not for you but for us...
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