Wednesday, February 11, 2009

2009, embrace change.

Like I didn't realise the change is tremendous. Have I myself to blame or is this a lesson specially crafted and planned down to details for me? 2009 isn't exactly starting off well. It kick started with a close shave from being burnt alive at Sentika, getting replied with a less than desirable reply when all I wanted was to wish someone Happy New Year; and having been virtually missing from that world for a good close to 4 mths, how can life spiral any lower for me? The only way is up, right? Wrong. I should never have burnt all my savings trying to be independent for now the recession isn't help at all for the financial situation most people are in. Now I struggle to survive, after having been estranged by the very one I have been trusted with.

I am not pathetic neither do I require pity. I only demand respect and responsibility and reliability when spoken forth to me and said under oath. Truly, is there an easier way to solve my current situation? BEG? No. A person who loves another would not expect such a low-life behaviour and attitude from the other. The ultimate question is then; why me? I'm taking my situation, looking at it from all sorts of angles possible; where is the beauty in the outcome? Where is the rainbow? Where is the unity? Is this some kind of a joke? No I have never visualized my life to ever go through this; neither have I expected perfection. The occasional bumpy rides takes the monotony out of life and creates something very real and acceptable. Who can expect a life within a bed of roses.... the thorns are bound to prick once in a while. Once in a while does not lead to permanent destruction and total loss. You cannot bleed to death from rose thorns!

Well, whatever the case, it is such a shame. I was listening to a seminar last night and the speaker made the differences between husband and wife so endearing, so easy to see, and in a rosier pink than the usual black.

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