"HUH WHAT???!" My 'husband' has been going around telling everyone he knows that we're divorced. Funny thing is, I'm not even aware that we already are!? Not until I know of the real reasons without BS, will I agree to this arrangement. This marriage was more like an arrangement than one out of real emotions. It's really ridiculous since I never knew it was supposed to be like this; a plan, outrageously planned. Just so amazing, how my 'ex-husband' can cook up some story to say how we split when I'm unaware of my true fault or rather, a validated fault.
I'm still in disbelief. This is so absurd!? It almost makes me feel dumb like I was never involved. What in the world was I thinking? What in the world was HE thinking? How come I never knew? How didn't I see this coming? This ploy, this staged marriage/divorce. Amazing, I think.
How could I be so dumb as to marry someone who was going to take me as his joke and an eventual reason for his status of a divorcee; just like his peers? Can't beat them; join'em!
I try not to think the worse of him, I try..... and I still do not think he's a bad guy, just one who can be quite scheming and who is very lost. Even if it wasn't me, I'd bet he'd do the same, simply because joining the 'gang' of the 'divorcees' made him feel very 'in place'. It was all a game.
I'd like to think he was not scheming towards me, not a scam but a true love; which he became confused of. He could end up with someone else, or maybe nobody at all, but all I know is that he would paint a very ugly picture of me; which is NOT FAIR.
Anyway, I have no idea anymore. I'll wait. I trust, I have faith and I'm still positive. He isn't a bad person, he isn't evil; he's facing influences and warfares. I want him to see his initial decision all over again and why he made such a decision. To have and to hold, through better or worse, in sickness and in health, in richer and poorer, till death.... do us part....
I'm still in disbelief. This is so absurd!? It almost makes me feel dumb like I was never involved. What in the world was I thinking? What in the world was HE thinking? How come I never knew? How didn't I see this coming? This ploy, this staged marriage/divorce. Amazing, I think.
How could I be so dumb as to marry someone who was going to take me as his joke and an eventual reason for his status of a divorcee; just like his peers? Can't beat them; join'em!
I try not to think the worse of him, I try..... and I still do not think he's a bad guy, just one who can be quite scheming and who is very lost. Even if it wasn't me, I'd bet he'd do the same, simply because joining the 'gang' of the 'divorcees' made him feel very 'in place'. It was all a game.
I'd like to think he was not scheming towards me, not a scam but a true love; which he became confused of. He could end up with someone else, or maybe nobody at all, but all I know is that he would paint a very ugly picture of me; which is NOT FAIR.
Anyway, I have no idea anymore. I'll wait. I trust, I have faith and I'm still positive. He isn't a bad person, he isn't evil; he's facing influences and warfares. I want him to see his initial decision all over again and why he made such a decision. To have and to hold, through better or worse, in sickness and in health, in richer and poorer, till death.... do us part....
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