Keep the commitment or not make it at all.

Work is messy messy messy!!!!!! Hate it when the accounts part comes along.... it's like 'kio sai' lor.

Today the girl who adopted mao mao called me to say that mao mao is too naughty to get along with her cat, so perhaps I have to take mao mao back and see if other friends would take her in. This actually brings me to some issues.... Try to figure out the parrellelism here.

I have 3 dogs. I hardly see them/take them out/have contact with them; because I'm either working or overseas or just not enough confidence to take them out because I'm no longer as strong as before. So now, it's like a fishtank, watching them run around, playing with each other, living in their own world, hoping so much that I'd take them out. I enjoy watching them, but do take them for granted. One fine day, when they 'go', I am very sure I'd regret and would have wanted to do so much more. And I will try....

Some of us take others like family, or loved ones for granted till they lose them for good. Is it worth all that heartache, no doubt doing much for them would still be painful to see them go? At least we'd know we never short-changed them in their lifetime. Life is just too short to play games, play with emtions and waste time. But somehow, people still do so. Intentionally or not, it's just meaningless. Why go through it all then? Some tell me I shold never have gotten the puppies... but I think they live a much better life than if someone were to commit to them out of novelty and then abandon them when they get less cute. I do know of such people... and it doesn't only happen to dogs. These people either abandon and desert the other party or the dog in this case, and feel very little regret. But why in the first place should that happen? For sheer fun? Or sheer stupidity or perhaps these people really do not have the humanity. Having a dog is a commitment one needs to think through thoroughly, and it's the dog's lifetime that you'd need to commit to, not just to abandon as and when. I am guilty of that-- not that I have abandoned my dogs, but I have regretted not doing much more for them.

Dog lovers out there would understand this. Imagine being the dog, seeing this owner or partner or leader never bothered about you, and he brought you without your consent (even worse!) and you're destined to live that kinda life for the rest of your life...oh.. it sucks.

Today I feel a little lousier than I do usually. I guess because reality is about to hit me pretty soon, and it's gonna be a hell loada pain. Honestly, I'd rather it be a physical than emotional pain; coz it's 'tangible' to a degree, while emotional pain lasts and lasts and cuts and cuts as and when.

OH I'm submersing myself in the scent of polo sport right now... totally love it... Drives me crazy in the good way.... Used to use it on myself coz I always thought it was sexy to use a guy's perfume. Even if it isn't sexy, I still love it, and if I love it, who's to say it ain't sexy?!

I'm also cuddling my pup now. He stinks, but at least he's very passionate, for wanting to cuddle up cosy with me. His heavy head on my hand, wet nose on my cheek, warm stinky poo breath near my nose as he breathes, huge paw on my tummy, he'll always be a puppy to me. That tiny little fluff ball. (He's still fluffed but not a ball but a huge over-sized ... something)

Am listening to a song now which speaks of love; and how not to lose the love you have for someone by SAYING that you love the person.... and you'd only know the loss when you lose the person. The struggle starts after that loss and it should be rectified by telling her/him that you still have so much love EXCEPT if you have 2 loves. Ahh.. inspirational yet useless....